Film Review #7: Grand Theft Auto V (videogame)

Ok, ready?  Ready?  READY?  GTA V is the single greatest game ever created, and here's why.

The entire thing is brilliantly designed.  I'm not going to go through every single wonderful thing about the game, because that would take hours, and hundreds of pages.  Bottom line is, it's ridiculously fun...  If you've played GTA IV, GTA V is like that, but bigger, prettier, more immersive, more intuitive, more insane, more expansive, more diverse...  I could go on.  Basically, they took the world simulation and blew it out of the water, turning the world into a massive clot of different biomes and weather systems (all dynamic), populated by numerous AI people going about numerous activities, with different attitudes, situations, and possibilities of response to the player, and driven over by numerous planes, helis, trucks, cars, ATVs, bikes, boats, and submarines.  Vehicles take finely detailed dynamic damage that can affect aesthetics as well as handling and physical ability (banging a wheel will deform that wheel on its axle based on the angle and velocity of impact, and then this wheel will operate differently based on this change, which means jamming in some situations, slower RPM sometimes, changed turning radii, etc.)
People are just as fun to mess with as before, what with the Euphoria dynamic muscle/balance/self-preservation ragdoll simulation engine running to the max.  Plus, when airborn, you can hit a button (B on the Xbox) to enter flop mode.  Effective for sending your character through windows and windshields, into people and vehicular cockpits, off ledges, onto distant, normally unjumpable locations, etc.  It's absolutely terrific.  Shooting mechanics have been tuned for greater intuition and fluidity, and hand-to-hand combat has been massively expanded (dodging, low/high attacks, etc.).  Driving's still a bit arcade-y, but nonetheless very fun, especially with the new hood cam.
The game has a massive set of primary and side missions, along with little events you can tie into if you want (impromptu getaway driver for two robbers, per say, or maybe vigilante and returner of stolen wallets).  Heists can go any number of ways, just based off what the player designs for in the plans.  I could go on.  I really could.  For ever.
Multiplayer is absolutely insane fun, plain and simple.  A stupid number of diverse, interesting game-modes, from traditional deathmatches to heists to Jets-vs-Bikes (look it up, it's wonderful).

Now, complaining.

1.  Multiplayer is buggy.  Expected, given it just launched and the servers are handling millions of players.  They're actually solving it quite quickly, which is awesome.
2.  Lag.  Can sometimes get below 20 FPS, but that's because I'm running on a goddamn pathetic excuse for a gaming platform christened the Xbox 360.  Doesn't take away from gameplay.
3.  ... I forgot.

Well, there you go.  It's the greatest game ever made, and you should play it.  I'm serious.  This isn't one of those games you play for two months and then begin to forget about.  This is Just Cause 2 level.  Hell, above that.  This is legitimately probably the greatest game I have ever played, on a big-budget scale.

I might post another review of this when I've had more time to complain and build grudges against the game, but...